Frequently Asked Questions
What is mediation?
Mediation is a voluntary and confidential process in which people utilize the assistance of a multi-partial third-party to sort through a dispute. Both in-person and virtual meetings are offered whereby each party member and Lucille are in attendance.
Held supports open dialogue, inviting shifts of empowerment and recognition to take place. By speaking freely under Lucille’s guidance, both parties are able to express their thoughts, feelings, concerns, and opinions in ways with which the other party can more freely understand and connect. In this way, parties are able to gain mutual understanding and move towards making agreements that work best for them. As mediator, Lucille will not offer solutions or push people towards specific agreements; instead, she holds a container for her clients in a non-prescriptive way, empowering them to find their own conclusions and make their own agreements together.
Why mediation? Why not traditional litigation?
If you want to be the decision-maker in your life, then mediation is right for you. To take it a bit further, if you can envision a supported process where a sense of self is restored, full expression of thoughts, emotions, and ideas are not only possible, but encouraged, and decisions are made in consideration of the greater good, then mediation with Held is right for you. In a traditional divorce scenario in which lawyers are hired the long-term emotional and financial toll on a family can be devastating because communication that is already broken down becomes further broken down and repair is not held as a high standard and/or never considered.
Mediation allows for the parties themselves to steer the ship of their lives by having the time and space to freely and openly communicate, address the issues of conflict. The process can lead to transformation, growth, and healing because it breaks away the barriers that conflict constructs, leading to a meeting of the minds and ultimately the ability to make decisions, together, about what life will look like, apart.
Additionally, mediation with Held is:
Less Adversarial
Less Time Consuming
Less Expensive
What about the legal aspects and impacts?
Mediation is completely confidential, and everything expressed in a session (including agreements) is not legally binding until certain steps are taken in accordance with NYS law. For separation and divorce matters, upon coming to agreements by which each party feels confident that concerns have been thoroughly addressed, Lucille will draft a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), which memorializes each part of the agreement that is discussed in mediation. The MOU is unsigned, and will serve as the basis of your separation/divorce agreement. Following mediation, either independently or with the help of an attorney, clients will use the MOU to finalize their separation or divorce and to file the paperwork, making it legally binding and enforceable.
Are you an attorney?
Lucille is not an attorney and believes that to be an asset. With her vast legal knowledge as a certified paralegal, extensive mediation experience and training, and unique capacity for empathy and conciliation, Lucille is able to allow for each party’s unique feelings to be voiced without judgement nor expectation while remaining informed by the legal framework involved. Facilitating a mediation process requires a capacity to hold a safe space for people to express themselves in vulnerable and radical ways without the confines of bias, judgment, and in-depth personal knowledge about the particular situation. This is the space, knowledge, and experience that Lucille offers to her clients.
To learn more about Lucille, visit the About Us page and feel free to contact her with any questions or thoughts.
As a mediator, Lucille cannot give legal advice and encourages partiers to seek counsel throughout the process of mediation. She has working relationships with many local attorneys who are familiar with mediation and can refer parties to one upon request. Lucille welcomes attorneys to be part of the mediation process at any point and respects the value and knowledge that they bring.
How long will this take and how much does mediation cost?
Unlike traditional litigation regarding separation and divorce, mediation takes significantly less time to come to an agreement, and as a result, costs a fraction of the expense. The number of sessions depends upon the complexity of the parties’ situation. Held Mediation operates using a sliding scale fee structure based on each client’s financial circumstances, charging an hourly rate and there are no costly retainers. Please contact Held directly for our rates.
What role do I have and how do I need to participate?
Your role is simple - you must be willing to participate. Lucille will champion each client every step of the way so they can feel supported and heard throughout the process. Held recognizes that conflict is hard and talking about it can be even harder. Our approach is one that offers support and guidance so that you can feel free to communicate; however, your participation is essential to this process in order to be able to peel away at the layers of the conflict and find common ground - it is here where informed, valued, and collaborative decisions can be made.
What topics will we talk about?
For matters of separation and divorce, the most common topics discussed are property, finances, children, and pets among others. During the consultation and depending on your unique situation, Lucille will provide an in-depth check list of points for discussion that will be might be covered in mediation.